Our First Relationship

When we think about the subject of relationships we tend to jump straight to those we are having with others in our lives, like our partner, our kids, our friends and family, we might even stretch it as far as our work colleagues, or even to our pooch, but we pretty much tend to leave it at that. Of course all our relationships are important, but aren’t we forgetting our oldest and most influential relationship of all? That would be of course, our relationship with ourselves.

Our relationship with ourselves is by and large the most important relationship we will ever have as we are the only ones that are with ourselves 24/7. Think about it. There is no one else is who is with you every moment of the day, through every little thing that you do and I mean everything… eating, sleeping, going to the toilet, having uncomfortable conversations, going to work, enjoying the sunshine, getting anxious, stressed, feeling tired, receiving accolades, experiencing all of life’s highs and lows. You are the only one who is there for all of the above and much, much more. Let’s face it; we can’t get away from ourselves even if we try. Ok, well we can escape into our heads, or watch a movie for example, however this is only momentary - we have to come back to ourselves eventually.

It seems that every aspect of our relationship with ourselves naturally flows on to all our other relationships, including our relationship with our voice.

If we are tense and anxious this will definitely have an affect on the quality of our voice and the vibration that everyone feels coming from it. On the other hand, if we take the time to develop a deeply nurturing connection to ourselves first, we will feel a confidence and ease which will flow on into our voice and expression, and this harmonious vibrational quality, will be an absolute joy for people hear and feel. Our voice is the vehicle for our vocal expression and it is inseparable from how we live and the way we feel about ourselves.

I am learning that how I feel about myself, how much I love and appreciate myself in my daily life or conversely if I loath myself or feel annoyed or frustrated regularly, this has the biggest impact on all my other relationships.

It’s like a mirror reflecting what’s inside, out to the rest of the world. It’s not like we can loath ourselves but love everyone else, relationships just don’t work that way.

If we want true love and connection in our lives we have to start with our relationship with ourselves.

It makes sense that the level of love, respect, decency and care we bring to ourselves is the level we will have available to us to share in all our relationships with others.

From experience I can say that when I spend time nurturing myself, enjoying my own company and just being with me, I blossom, my confidence grows and am so ready to share my true qualities with others - it has a natural flow on affect.

So this brings us to the big picture. Can you contemplate for a moment what life would be like if we started to be really honest and put our relationship with ourselves first? This alone would completely transform our how we live.

For a start we would go to bed when we feel tired, eat what our body truly needs, own our own emotions and hurts, instead of blaming others. We would begin taking responsibility for our own needs. We would have a lot less confusion and abuse in relationships and a lot more intimacy. We would have clarity and integrity in business because of the willingness to be honest and transparent with each other. We would stop seeking recognition, acceptance and approval from another, because we would be learning how to appreciate ourselves. We would no longer feel the need to prove ourselves through the things that we do, like playing sports, getting high marks at school or through our jobs and careers.

When we look inward and start looking after ourselves in every way, we can begin to evolve out of blaming others for how we feel, and into empowering ourselves to live a life more aligned to ourselves, and learn to truly nurture and adore our first relationship.